


Breathe

by archangelwithashotgun



Series: Tumblr Prompts [77]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comforting Sam, Crying Gabriel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Human Gabriel, Hurt Gabriel, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Loving Sam, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Powerlessness, Pre-Slash, Sabriel - Freeform, Slash, Tumblr Prompt, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7610221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archangelwithashotgun/pseuds/archangelwithashotgun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr Prompt: Sabriel and "Ille me amplexus atque osculans flere prohibebat" or "Hugging me and kissing me, he prevented me from crying."</p>
<p>It was something so minor. But it was enough apparently.</p>
<p>TW: Panic attacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe

It was something minor. Something so pathetically and stupidly _small_. But it had been enough, apparently.

Gabriel accidentally sliced his finger chopping up carrots for dinner.

The moment the metal blade cut across the expanse of his forefinger, Gabriel yelped and dropped the knife with a wild flinch, wrapping his uninjured hand around his fist.

His eyes went wide at the large glop of dark blood that pooled around the wound before it streamed down his finger. Gabriel’s eyes followed the river of red as it trailed down between his knuckles and slipped down the back of his hand, completely entranced in his terror.

“Oh _crap_ , are you alright?”

Gabriel sucked in a shivering gasp at the sudden appearance and touch of Sam’s hand curling around his own, and he wrenched his eyes away from the blood to gape at the hunter. Sam spared Gabriel’s wounded finger a second of concerned attention before Sam muttered a quiet “c’mon” and pulled Gabriel over to the sink.

“It looks worse than it actually is,” Sam assured, twisting on the tap water to a lukewarm temperature and gently pulling Gabriel’s finger underneath the running water. Gabriel’s eyes widened further at the rush of blood washing from his finger and melting into the clear water, turning it a translucent red against the pale sink floor.

Once the blood was adequately washed away and they could see the light pink cut on Gabriel’s finger, Sam shut off the water and grabbed the nearest dish towel to wrap around the digit.

“Keep pressure on that,” Sam instructed, not letting go of the towel until Gabriel stiffly obeyed. “Let me get some bandages and something to disinfect it. It’s kinda deep, but not bad enough to need stitches.”

Sam gave Gabriel a soft smile before quickly departing in the direction of the bathroom, leaving Gabriel standing in the middle of the kitchen and clutching the towel fiercely around his finger. Gabriel swallowed roughly as he slid his gaze back down to his wrapped finger, his body twitching with every maddening pulse his finger gave off.

He couldn’t believe this. Gabriel could not _believe_ this. It seemed that he could not go one day without being thoroughly reminded that he was newly human now, and as such was apparently prone to easy accidents. Cuts, bruises, fractures, sprains, gashes, anything that could happen did happen to Gabriel.

Especially once he enlisted on hunts with the Winchesters and Castiel.

Hunting the human way was, while incredibly tedious and slow, soothing to Gabriel in a sick sense. Every pain and ache he received was a result of action, of actually doing something to dispel of a monster of ghost or demon.

Even when his abdomen was nearly shredded apart a few months ago during a werewolf case, leading to being confined to his bed as a result of Sam’s irritating insistence and concern, Gabriel believed himself no stranger to life-threatening pain. It came with being a human, and it definitely came with being a hunter. That, he could take. That, he could stomach.

Gabriel couldn’t stomach _this_.

Losing blood in such a rapid fashion, feeling _this_ much pain, from a damned slice on his finger?

Seeing his mortality flash before his eyes from the trivial task of _preparing dinner_?

Gabriel felt a burn sweep across his eyes before his vision suddenly blurred. His blood ran through his veins with prickling ice, and his chest tightened with a heavy pressure weighing down his lungs. Gabriel’s eyes widened and he snapped his uninjured hand to curl over his rapidly beating heart, his fingers coiling fiercely in his shirt. His throat went dry and closed up, and he began to suck in panicked, wet breaths as tears flooded down his cheeks. Gabriel gasped, hissing out terrified sobs as he hunched forward into himself.

“ _Crap_. Gabriel. Hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, _shhhhhh_.”

Sam materialized before him, his worried expression pinched deep into his features, and Gabriel’s eyes widened in the desperate plea that his voice wouldn’t allow him to say.

“Okay, okay, breathe, Gabriel,” Sam whispered.

Sam’s soothing voice was a calm prodding through the storm of Gabriel’s mind. Vaguely, Gabriel felt Sam’s hand slide underneath the one Gabriel had resting on his chest and pull until Gabriel’s hand was firmly splayed across the expanse of Sam’s chest. Sucking in a sharp breath, Gabriel snapped his gaze up to meet Sam’s. The hunter smiled gently, encouragingly, and Sam placed his free hand on Gabriel’s chest.

Before Gabriel could even think about attempting to ask, Sam caught his eye and gave an exaggerated inhale. Gabriel felt Sam’s chest inflate easily with air, while his own pulsed with uneven jolts.

“Breathe,” Sam instructed, taking in another large breath. “Match your breaths with mine. C’mon. _Breathe_.”

Gabriel obeyed. He whimpered and gasped and fought as hard as he could to take in sufficient, deep breaths, palming Sam’s chest desperately. But he kept his wide eyes locked on Sam’s, losing himself deep in the rush of hazel and green speckled with gold…

Gabriel’s throat began to open up, and he felt a flash of air punch through his throat and into his lungs. Sam’s smile grew.

“That’s it, keep breathing,” Sam whispered.

Gabriel shakily released the air and started again, focusing entirely on making his lungs work and on Sam’s captivating eyes. Soon enough, Gabriel felt his muddled mind become clearer, his wracking shakes ease down to trembles, and he was _breathing_. Glorious air was rushing into his lungs and his gasps dissipated into large inhales and exhales as he finally met Sam’s pace.

Taking note of this, Sam moved his hand to slide from Gabriel’s chest to rest against Gabriel’s upper back, and the man was pulling Gabriel to him. Gabriel, freshly exhausted, couldn’t do more to react to Sam’s embrace than lean heavily into him. He closed his bloodshot eyes and shuddered out another breath.

“I got you,” Sam muttered, turning his face into Gabriel’s golden hair, and Gabriel swore he felt the air disappear once more from his lungs as Sam’s lips pressed against his ear. “I got you.”

Gabriel shook and pressed his mouth to Sam’s clothed shoulder, shutting his eyes tight. He wanted to say something, to thank Sam for being here, to ask what the kiss meant, _something_.

But his finger suddenly gave a wild throb between their abdomens, reminding Gabriel of the catalyst that brought them here, and Gabriel couldn’t stifle the tiny yelp or flinch he gave.

This sprung Sam into action as the hunter suddenly remembered what had occurred moments prior. The hunter quickly stamped another kiss to Gabriel’s temple before moving away to grab the bandages and alcohol he had abandoned on the kitchen table, completely oblivious to the way the former archangel physically stumbled back from that simple action.

“We’re gonna have to make a run for more first aid supplies,” Sam remarked apologetically.

He reached carefully for Gabriel’s hand, gently wiping away the small beads of blood that gathered around the wound. Gabriel stiffened at the now dull ache that erupted from the cut, but patiently watched Sam clean his injury before grabbed the bottle of alcohol and upending it into a clean rag.

“This is gonna sting a little,” Sam warned.

Gabriel nodded and braced himself but he still gave off a wild flinch, the sting of the alcohol slicing through the ache of his open wound. Gabriel’s hand shot out and grabbed Sam’s bicep.

“Sorry,” Sam muttered, pressing the rag a little tighter against the cut.

A low groan growled out of Gabriel’s sore throat, and he blinked harshly as tiny reminders pricked at his mind of his newfound weakness.

“Stupid, this is _stupid_ ,” Gabriel hissed, closing his eyes when he could feel the burn of tears return. “I can’t be this _weak_.”

“You’re not weak, Gabriel,” Sam shook his head, dabbing the rag tenderly along the finger. “You’re just… This isn’t something that you can just get used to. I grew up human; I don’t think about it. You… You’re taking this much stronger than I’d imagine others would, and you’re surviving and thriving as best as you can. Can hardly call that weak.”

Gabriel opened his mouth. Whether to retort or make a wisecrack or just to insult Sam, he didn’t know, and he didn’t find out; he snapped his jaw shut with a defeated sigh.

Sam hummed lowly as he wrapped the bandage around Gabriel’s finger. “And… you don’t have to be alone in this. I may not fully understand what you’re going through, but if you’re suffering or if you need to fall apart… I wanna help.”

Gabriel didn’t say anything in response to that but he tightened his jaw and nodded all the same, ducking his head low as Sam finished wrapped his finger. The hunter silently gathered all the materials as Gabriel leaned against the edge of the table, staring hopelessly at the floor.

“… I’m not getting my powers back, am I?” Gabriel asked quietly.

It was meek and damn near fragile, the way his voice sounded as he asked Sam the question. Gone was the vibrating thrum of invincibility inside his chest, now replaced with a beating heart ticking away the seconds of his life. Gone was the immortality, replaced with a painful, bleeding finger. He had tried to avoid thinking about it, not wanting to consider the possibility that he would remain human for good.

Gabriel couldn’t help but think about it now.

Sam pressed his lips together in a tight line. The man threw the bloody rag away and replaced the alcohol on the kitchen table.

“What can I do to help?” Sam asked simply.

Gabriel shivered. The terror and panic of earlier was gone. There was only exhaustion and crushing sorrow in its wake. Gabriel sniffed and glanced up.

“Um… maybe what you did earlier? That… That seemed to help,” Gabriel replied, his voice trailing off with a fierce tremble.

Sam nodded and grabbed Gabriel’s unwrapped hand to press up against Sam’s chest once more. Sam curled his hand around Gabriel’s and secured his other arm around Gabriel’s shoulders, pulling him close and locking their joined hands between their bodies. Gabriel swallowed thickly and burrowed himself into the safety of Sam’s embrace, biting down on his bottom lip and snaking his free arm around Sam’s torso.

“Breathe,” Sam whispered, and Gabriel leaned into the contact this time as Sam’s lips pressed a lingering kiss to Gabriel’s cheek, and then another one to the corner of Gabriel’s mouth. Gabriel closed his eyes. “Just breathe.”


End file.
